I have shocking news: it may be common to feel anger when being attacked. When this happens, it can be easy to lose control and hold true to your Christian values. Maybe you feel like somebody has it out for you at work. It may not be a personal attack but a threat to your community or organization. Or who knows, maybe it is over a political topic.
The fact of the matter is, how we respond when something like this happens says more about our faith and trust in God almost more than anything else. If your response is not led by love, you may be doing something wrong.
In those moments of hot blooded anger, however, how do you lead with love? It is not easy, that is for sure. However, when we use Christ as an example, it does get a little bit easier.
Holding Your Tongue When Angry
I can’t be the only one who imagines what they would like to say to a person that has made me angry. “If only I could have thought of it in the moment, that would have shut them up. When the next perfect moment arises I will be able to say it to them without missing a beat.”
Minor inner dialogue break? Yes, sometimes I can’t help it. Unfortunately for me, learning to control what I say is my duty as a Christian. In James 3:2 – 3:6 we are told the following:
“We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way. We can make a large horse turn around and go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a tiny rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot wants it to go, even though the winds are strong. So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself.”
Letting the Angst Out
The hardest part for me is the question of whether venting what is making me angry to a friend is okay. Yes and no. You can explain why you are upset but slandering somebody in anger because of what they did to you is not okay. We must stop and think about how that person would feel if they heard those words directly. When we experience anger when being attacked, our natural reaction is to be on defense. It is so easy for this to turn into attacking the situation with nothing but feelings. This is is unfortunately the road of the enemy, not God’s.
It is important to share with someone you trust what you are going through. However, we have to be ever diligent to not let these times turn into complaining and slandering sessions. It may feel less satisfying in the moment, however, it is vital to your growth as a Christian.
Fueling Passion and Clarity through the Anger
Fire is vital to civilization. Ironically, left uncontrolled, it can destroy it. Anger is somewhat similar. When controlled it can be a catalyst to change. In order for change to occur, a spark needs to start somewhere.
Going back to James in 3:3, he says that “those who control their tongues can also control themselves in any other way.” If you can’t hold your tongue over what is angering you, you’ve already given victory to the enemy.
However, if you are able to steer your anger in a controlled way, it can give you passion and courage to eventually correct the injustice. Going back to James, we are told in James 1:19 that:
“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God’s sight.”
Yes anger can be the start of change. However, anger taking the lead turns it into a situation that is not of Jesus. As Christians, our ultimate goal is to emulate Jesus as much as possible. If we are willing to make a compromise and not put that goal in the front, we are doing something horribly wrong.
Where to Go From Here
Alright, so how do we actually handle anger when being attacked in real life?
Well, I’m going to through some grandma quotes at you. First, think before you speak. Second, if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all. Lastly, involve prayer to God in everything you do. Even if it as simple as “Lord, guide me.”
Let’s Pray
Father God,
In these situations it can be so difficult to hold true to you. Feeling anger when being attacked seems like such a natural response. How could it be bad? Father, remind us that not all that feels right in the moment comes from you. Be with us. Give us courage to stand up to the enemy and not allow attacks to enter our lives. He does not get dominion over us…only you do. Be with us Lord.
In your love we pray,
Amen
