My Story
I once had a non-Christian friend who helped me during one of the most difficult times of my life. She gave me companionship, helped walk our dog, and did crafts with me. Friendship was something I was very new to at the time and I did really enjoy having her as a friend. Her and I were similar in a lot of ways but polar opposites in others. The main way being in our opinion of faith.
At the time I was pretty early into becoming the Christian that I am now. I knew this friend was not Christian, supported things I did not, and detested many things related to my faith. For most of our friendship, neither of us talked about our differences. I was aware that I complained and swore more with her than without but I didn’t mind since it meant that I had a friend.
A Shift
Things changed when she started verbalizing her negative opinions about Christianity. It made me feel unappreciated, disrespected, and to be honest weak. Arguing or even defending my opinions is not one of my strong suits and I didn’t want to damage our friendship. I struggled with what to do with this non-Christian friend for a long time.
I got pregnant not long after and one day I realized, do I want this friend to be an active participant in my life while I raise my child? Do I want that kind of influence as I strive to help my child love God? The answer was no and I cut off the friendship. I felt so confident at the time but did I make the correct choice and did I do it in a way that fits with the Bible?
A Mixed Message?
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors (Mark 12:30-31) and to show love to everybody (1 Corinthians: 13). But do those mean that we should be close friends with all of these people that may be a negative influence on our relationship with God?
2 Corinthians 6:14 tells us that if we spend most of our deeper friendship time with those that are non-believers, we are more likely to become like them than like God. However, in 2 Corinthians 5:18 – 21, we are called “Christ’s ambassadors” and are called to bring people to him. That includes non-christians. There was something I was missing from the formula…
We are to love everybody and that means giving everybody a chance. However, that does not mean that we are tied to everybody. In 2 Timothy 3: 1-8 tells us to “turn away from such people,” referring to people who pursue and live by unGodly characteristics. That is what I did, so why do I still feel bad about how I handled it?
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
To answer that, I have to look at myself. The ultimate issue was that I did not represent God in our friendship. I always tried to be patient and kind in the spirit of Christ to her issues. However, I rarely spoke about my faith. This was in the hope that her seeing the way I chose to live my life would be enough to show her my faith. Instead, I held my tongue about my faith. I was afraid because of what her reaction might be and that I would lose one of my only friends. I didn’t rely on Christ to defend him either.
In the future, my goal is to never hide my faith to those I am pursuing friendships with. That doesn’t mean I need to hit anybody over the head with a Bible. Nor does it mean that I should not have a non-Christian friend. However, Christ has shown up for me in every aspect of my life and I wasn’t showing up for him. I didn’t make sure I was growing closer to God instead of further in my pursuit of friendship.
Do you show up for Christ in your friendships?
Let’s Pray
Father God,
We have seen you use people in situations that they felt weak in. Some even run from you. So have I, Lord. I can see ways you would like me to represent you in life but I hide from them because they make me feel so uncomfortable. Cast away my doubts and fears over my own life and let my sight be set on you and the blessings you bring to myself and to others. Let those reading this have the same thing. We are not called to be comfortable and through submission to you we can experience so much more than comfort. Guide us Father every day to become closer to you.
In your love I pray,
Amen
